I wonder if I'll do this again. I wonder if Sebastien will have a little brother or sister around. I don't know, I've complained and bitched my way through pregnancy. I was an only child, I turned out alright. I feel huge. Huge, and uncomfortable. Like one sudden movement and a baby would drop out of my vagina. I realized a few entries ago I talked about Mike and the contracting position he was offered. He turned that down, by the way. Which I was incredibly happy about.
Our house in TN is now leaking water. So that means, there is mold. Mold, the electric is effed, and the house is sagging. Its such a great house. I want to just say good bye to it and not think about it ever again. This paying 450 a month for a piece of shit house we aren't living in, is becoming a bit much.
I've been going a little bit crazy living so close to Mikes family. There are just so many of them, and I feel like they demand so much attention. I don't want to have to share my husband with each and every person who wants his attention. That may sound selfish, but I don't think so. I should get more then one full day a week with him. It'd be different if he was working, but hes not. And they're just too much. I love them all, don't get me wrong, but we need to live like 45 minutes away so its complicated to make plans and not everyone just stops in all of the time.
So thats my update, I don't know what else to say. I want to write in this journal more. I just don't feel inspired like I used to. Maybe its because I write for a living, and writing just feels dull. Or maybe its because I really don't have anything to cry about, and that used to be the main purpose of this journal. Either way, I don't have a lot of words.
- 36 weeks, and full of fury.